Icha Icha: Naruto the pimp chronicles: crack style
by uncageduzu
Summary: This is a smutty/crack fic with pimp Naruto. This fic DOES contain lemons and cursing and such. Don't hate it if you don't like it! Could become crossover!


**This is NOT taking over the other fic! I know I said I wouldn't write any more until "Pain to the world" was complete and I might seem like a hypocrite but, sometimes you need to have a little break form one certain fic that said I AM still working on "Pain to the world".**

**This is merely for fun and something to type when I am bored/don't feel like typing "Pain to the world" or just need some "air" away from it. The updates will probably be scarce and a rare occurrence. I didn't write the lemon, bnga1 did, I merely corrected the mistakes, punctuation and added in little bits.**

**Naruto will whore himself across the Elemental Nations and get into all types of shenanigans. **

**Don't like it don't read or hate… **

**Please Read, Review and Enjoy!**

**Chapter 1**

**Naruto's apartement –**

Naruto Uzumaki, age 16, sat in his apartment flicking threw god's gift to earth, Icha Icha. The Sasuke retrieval mission had been a failure, not the way you would think mind you. Sasuke's offer was just too tempting… Let him go and he'd receive the gold platinum premium edition lifetime subscription. You got all Icha Icha books before they were released and with all of the extras including the pictures and Icha Icha calendar and more! There were only 10 subscriptions in the world and he had no idea how Sasuke got one.

'Hmm... Perhaps another Uchiha had it before the massacre?' he mused to himself, flipping another page. It was either battle to what appeared would be a battle to the figurative death or take the subscription and let Sasuke go. He'd be a fool to not take the offer.

He looked at the clock on the wall and noted the time.

"4:30p.m huh, Ero-sennin said we were leaving on that 'training trip' at about 5:00p.m he should be here soon to brief me on it before leaving." he spoke to himself. No sooner than it had left his mouth the front door swung open.

"Have no fear, the gallant Jiraiya is here!" the self-proclaimed super pervert exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just get the money and go Jiraiya." Naruto said. Jiraiya nodded.

Naruto and Jiraiya go to Tsunade's office. She gives them a month's worth of Ryo as a farewell gift. They graciously accept it and left on the "training trip".

**10 minutes later Konoha gate -**

The eternal Chūnin gate keepers, Kotetsu Hagane and Izumo Kamizuki blinked as they saw four people approaching the gate. One was Jiraiya whom was writing in a little notebook and giggling. One was a man in a… purple tuxedo with black inner lining, gold shaded sunglasses, a purple with cheetah fur around the sides boater, a gold cane…? And a fur coat to complete the outfit. Accompanying him were two beautiful women latched onto each side of him. The first was a mint green haired girl with orange eyes and a caramel skin color. The second was a silver haired woman with violet eyes and tan skin color, and wait a moment... was that man Naruto? And he was drinking..? Why was he dressed like that?

"Ko- *hic* Kotet-tsu *hic* Iz-Izumo *hic* we're ba- *hic* aaaaaaccckkk!" slurred a drunken Naruto.

"Ahhh... Naruto...?" questioned Izumo.

"Haiiii *hic*" was the reply he received.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a training trip?" Kotetsu inquired.

"A- *hic* A what *hic*?" asked a confused Naruto.

"A T-R-A-I-N-I-N-G T-R-I-P!" emphasized an irritated Kotetsu.

"Oooohhhhh... *hic*" Naruto rolled his eyes. "I *hic* we spent a- *hic* all the mon-ney, *hic* came back f-for mo-more *hic*..." Naruto paused for a second looking confused.

"W-who are y-you...? *hic*" he questioned. Kotetsu's eye twitched.

"Kotetsu!" He yelled.

Naruto giggled.

"I was o-only *hic* fucking *hic* with you." He turned to the other of the group.

"Let's go Fū, Ryūzetsu, Ero-sennin *hic*" Naruto drawled. The three accomplices nodded.

"Sure Naruto-kun the girls purred unanimously. Naruto responded by slapping Fū's backside and pulling Ryūzetsu into a heated kiss, tongue and all. Jiraiya giggled and started to take notes as they took off to the Hokage tower.

"W-what the hell just happened, Kotetsu?" Izumo stuttered.

Said man shook his head in response.

"I don't know Izumo... I just don't know."

"Blackjack?" suggested Izumo, Kotetsu nodded in agreement.

**Hokage tower -**

"Wait here girls, Jiraiya; I'll convince Baa-chan." Naruto said, backed up with a good guy pose. Jiraiya nodded.

"Get to it gaki, though what happened to being drunk?"

Naruto shrugged in reply.

"I just told Kurama to stop filtering the alcohol temporarily." Jiraiya nodded accepting that.

Naruto made his way to the door and opened it. He was surprised by what he saw. Tsunade with Shizune's face buried in her crutch, blood dripped from Naruto's nose as he gaped.

"Mind if I become the butter in this sandwich?" he asked them. Tsunade nearly jumped out of her skin before she saw it was Naruto.

"Gaki! What are you doing here!? it's been 10 minutes and everyone is out of the tower?"

Naruto scratched his head sheepishly. Me and Ero-sennin kindamightablewallofthecash" he finished fast.

"Come again…?" Tsunade replied, Shizune still licking her pussy.

Naruto sighed.

"Me and Ero-sennin kinda mighta blew all of the cash..."

Tsunade gained a tick mark. HOW!? and what are you doing here?"

Naruto scratched his head even more.

"Booze and we kinda snatched Takigakure's Jinchūriki and made a prison break in blood prison in Kusagakure.

Tsunade sputtered.

"Tha-thats not even possible!" Naruto shrugged.

"It is when your magged and are looking for some lovin'." Tsunade took note of his attire and raised an eyebrow.

"What's with the getup?"

Naruto smirked.

"I met my dark half. Cool guy. Just wants me to in act plan W.M.A.T.E.N (whore myself across the elemental nations) the pimp suit like auto summoned or some shit." He shrugged.

"It's got swag." He added.

Tsunade stayed quiet for a moment.

"and you came back because...?" She asked.

"Too get more money, of-course."

Tsunade gained another tick mark before smirking.

"Gaki! Get over here and work for it like a man!" she hollered at him. Naruto gave a perverted grin and saluted.

"Hai mam!"

**Lemon start! –**

Not needing to be told twice Naruto made his way over to Tsunade's desk

"Ok, here I come, Tsunade-chan, Shizune-chan" said the blond Shinobi.

"Ok gaki, let's see how well you can use that tool of yours… start pounding into Shizune for me, I want to watch you two go at it first." Tsunade purred.

"Ok, but, has she even realized I'm here yet?" Naruto inquired with a raised eyebrow.

Tsunade pondered his question before replying.

"Hmm… I don't think so; she is in her own little world at the moment. She always is when she is eating out my cunt."

"Hmm… how did this happen, nee-chan eating you out and all?" asked our blonde super pimp hero legend.

"That gaki is a story for a different time. Now go, go and fuck my apprentice for me!" Tsunade ordered. Naruto saluted enthusiastically.

"If that's what you want you got it!"

With that said Naruto stripped out of his pimp clothes and went up behind Shizune ready to fuck her hard and fast like he was told to, Shizune still unaware of the meat stick about to pound into her was still happily eating her masters smooth snatch, naked as the day she was born, ass up in the air. When she felt the intrusion into her moist folds before she realized it Naruto was plowing into her like his life depended on it, at last she took note of the other occupant in the room, looking back at Naruto she was a little confused as to what the blond was doing back so soon but as she felt more pleasure from his rough treatment she decided not to ask… well, not at this time at least.

Naruto noticing that Shizune finally realized his presence decided to ask, "hey nee-chan, are you having fun with my cock inside you and Tsunade's cunt in your face"

"Yes otōto UGG your dick feels SOOOO good inside me HMM keep going you're so good, yes like that pound your nee-chan! Fuck me! Make me cum!" she moaned out in pure ecstasy.

"If that is what you want, then I'll have to give it to you nee-chan" Naruto replied, smacking her firm ass.

And with that Naruto picked up the pace once more all the while Tsunade was watching while playing with her E cup breasts moaning in pleasure from Shizune's work and from watching the action in front of her. Not long later she can feel an orgasm coming so she grabs the back of Shizune's head with both hands and shoves Shizune's head deep into her wet cunt. All the while Naruto is still fucking Shizune at great speeds and can feel his own release coming on.

"Nee-chan I'm about to cum do you want me to pull out?" Naruto asked Shizune.

Said woman shook her head furiously, "don't you dare otōto! I'm so close, plus I want you to fill me up with your seed!"

"Ok nee-chan…" Naruto grunted before blasted his cum deep into Shizune's awaiting womb.

"Ooh otōto! I'm cumming, it's so good give me more!" Shizune moaned out, her eyes almost rolling in her skull.

"ahh ahh ahhh…" Tsunade started, shaking her head and making a "no-no" motion with her index finger, "I don't think so, I want to have some fun with Naruto-kun, so now Naruto come here ok." without missing a beat Naruto pulled out his still hard cock and moved to Tsunade.

"Now Naruto I'm going to give you a treat I'm going to use my massive titties and fuck you with them after that, than you can fuck me ok?" she asked/told Naruto whom nodded his head gleefully.

"You got it Tsunade!"

With that Tsunade wrapped her 104cm, E cup tits around his member slowly teasing him with slow almost painful movements.

"Ohh… Tsunade, its soooo soft, I think I'm in heaven." Naruto moaned, eyes almost rolling in his skull from the amount of pleasure that was engulfing his member.

"You haven't seen anything yet kid watch this." with that said Tsunade picked up the pace wanting for him to shoot his hot load into her waiting mouth

Shizune was slowly starting to pick herself off the floor as she had lost most of her strength in her intense orgasm but she soon made her way over to Naruto and shoved her tongue down the young man's throat. By the time Shizune started to make out with him Naruto was nearing his second load of the threesome and came straight into Tsunade's open mouth.

"Hmmm… ohhh god gaki that tastes so good, but now I need you inside me! Just ram your cock deep in my sopping wet cunt and fuck me as hard as you can! Don't you dare hold back, I can take it!" Tsunade encourage Naruto with the utmost confidence in her… abilities.

Naruto didn't say anything he didn't need to so he pulled away from Shizune and lifted his "baa-chan's" legs up so that her knees and tits met and started to plow into her. Shizune got down between his legs so she could eat her master's ass hole. She loves to do this, her master keeps it so clean and she had a good view of the juices coming out from her master's soon to be well fucked cunt having enough of the view she shoves her tongue deep in Tsunade's rose bud.

Tsunade not expecting the sudden intrusion of the tongue started moaning louder, she knew she was nearing her limit soon and she could tell it would probably be the biggest orgasm of her life 'well biggest so far…' she thought with unhidden glee. Naruto himself could not believe how tight and hot Tsunade's pussy was and with the speed he was fucking her at, he knew that he would be cumming soon.

"Fuck you two know how… URGH to… HMM turn a girl… AHHH on… Oh kami right there! That spot! Hit that spot again!" Tsunade moaned out, writhing in pure undulated ecstasy.

"You got it Tsunade, I'll give you all I've got, but I'm gonna cum soon!" Naruto panted out.

"Hmm… gi-give i-it to m-me ohhhhhhhhHHHHHHH FUCK IM CUMMING! Shit! That's good!" Tsunade screamed out in pure pleasure.

"Ohhh me too Tsunade, do you want me to fill you up as well?" The super pimp asked, moaning all the while.

"Yes! Fill my hungry cunt! Give me your seed! I need it!" was the shouted reply of Tsunade and with that Tsunade started panting trying to get her breath back

2 minutes later they were all ready for round two.

"Ok Tsunade, Shizune, do you two want more?" Naruto queried.

"Fuck yeah; give it to me again gaki!" Tsunade replied

"No fair Tsunade! You just had him, I want him again!" argued Shizune, Naruto grinned, once you went Naruto you couldn't go back!

"Too bad, I'm the Hokage so my word is law and I say I want him again!" Tsunade shot back.

"but-" Shizune started only to be interrupted by a cry of "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" from Naruto. With that Naruto made 5 clones and Naruto's 6 Paths of Pimp stood at attention.

"Since you two can't make up your mind, I've made up mine for you. Now, I can take you both ok." Naruto said, leaving no room for argument.

The two naked girls took a second to comprehend the blonde's words, but when they did they knew that they were in for new level of pleasure. Not a second later the clones and original split into two groups of three, one group to Tsunade and one to Shizune.

"Ok guys let's do this!" Naruto enthusiastically ordered his clones.

"Yosh!" was the equally enthusiastic reply.

And with that one cry the blonds started C.N.1 grabbed Tsunade and impaled her on his cock strait up her ass C.N.2 grabbed her head and shoved his dick down her throat and C.N.3 went to play with her bountiful breasts again. As Tsunade was getting dped Shizune was having fun as well, she had grabbed C.N.4 and 5 and they went in her pussy and ass respectively, she was also deep throating the original. Both Shizune and Tsunade were losing their ground fast, they both knew that they were going to cum soon and there was not a damn thing that they could do about it. Soon they would be fucked unconscious, but they didn't care they were being fucked by the blond they both loved with all their heart.

3 hours and 21 orgasms later, Naruto had finally had enough (for now) and pulled out of the cum soaked women. Both Tsunade and Shizune had been coved in Naruto's essence, Shizune had lost conciseness an hour ago and now Tsunade was not fairing much better.

"How are you feeling Tsunade, are you ok?" Naruto asked concerned.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it. That was one of the best fucks of my life, just like my first time with Shizune. I might have to get you to come and do this again. What do you think a weekly S rank mission?" Tsunade inquired, winking at Naruto who giggle perversely before replying.

"It sounds like fun Tsunade, but what do you mean your first time with Shizune?"

"Hahaha well in a way it was like rape, just after I left the village after Dan's death I was sleeping in my hotel room drunk as all hell, I was about to pass out when I see little 10 year old Shizune sneaking into my room. I was almost asleep when she came in, but I was curious as to what she wanted so I used a Medical Jutsu to get rid of the alcohol in my system. When she grabbed my pants and pulled them off me, I of course was shocked. But when she started to rub my clit and lick my slit I had a feeling of déjà vu from some of my dreams and it hit me, she had been doing this to me for a while of course at first I was furious but at the time I was so horny so I just let her go.

I came four times that night the very next night I laid a trap for her I pretended to go to sleep and laid in bed, when she came in I waited a little while then with speed only a Jōnin could meet I grabbed her and asked her what she was doing. She started crying hysterically about how sorry she was and all that, I just waved it off and told her that she would have to take my punishment boy was she scared, she was in shock when I started to eat her young pussy out, I ate her out until dawn but not once did I let her cum that was the punishment and the rest is history." Tsunade finished retelling the "story" cheerfully.

While the story was being told Shizune had woken up and listening to it made her horny again. She had an idea for her last round, she henged into her young self and tried to sneak up on Naruto, try being the key word because Naruto is too much of a boss to be snuck up on so he turned around only for his jaw to drop at the naked, cum-coved, young-looking Shizune. She just looked at him with big wide innocent eyes.

"Onii-chan… will you fuck me please!?" she pleaded with the "puppy-dog" look that all young children seem to know.

Tsunade watched on in amusement, she knew what would happen. Within the mind of out blond uber hero pimp, he was trying to decide what he should do. On one hand he knew it was a henge and not a real little girl, but he still felt weird about it. In the end though he shrugged his shoulders, he wasn't a mother-licking uber-god pimp for no reason!

"Aaah fuck it… Come over here, big brother will fuck the shit out of you… again."

So with that he picked up Shizune and thrust her small frame onto his dick, he swore she was tighter now than before and knew he would cum soon like this.

"Shit it's too much I'm gonna cum!" Naruto moaned out, grunting and with that he filled her up again, so much so that it was spilling out of her and onto the floor.

**Lemon end! –**

As soon as he was finished he turned to Tsunade

"Ok so Tsunade… can I get some more money now?" he questioned as if everything they just did didn't happen at all.

"Fine, after that I think you can get a little bit." She replied, with that said she went behind the desk and wrote up a note

"Ok gaki, take this to the bank its blank so take as much as you want but TRY to keep it under 500,000,000 Ryo"

"You got it!" Naruto replied, cheerfully with a salute. Somehow he had already donned his pimp clothes, and with that the blond left.

**Outside Hokage's office –**

Jiraiya was irritated and leaning against the wall. It'd been three hours and Naruto still wasn't out of the damn office! Not to mention the tower was still dead… weird. He looked over to Fū and Ryūzetsu and his eyes went wide and he got a nosebleed. They were making out! It was so hot! He took out his little research notepad and started furiously writing down thing.

'At least the gaki knows how to pick company!' Jiraiya though in perverse glee, giggling all of the while.

As Naruto approached Jiraiya glanced at him and noticed his shit eating grin and the thumbs up.

"What took you so long gaki?" he asked.

Naruto chuckled.

"Let's just say that Tsunade really puts the "Ho" in Hokage!" He proclaimed giggling. Jiraiya's eyes went wide once more and he shot back and into the wall, out cold.

5 minutes later –

"Urgh…" Jiraiya groggiuly awoke. Hesaw Naruto above him, he did the only thing he could think of. A high five! Pimp style! He started to shed tears of joy.

"I- I'm so proud of you gaki!" he bellowed out. Naruto patted his back.

"I know ero-sennin, I know." Naruto looked at the other side of the wall and only just notice his girls' make-out session.

"Hot stuff…" he mused, the girls heard him and dislodged from each other.

"Let's roll girl." Naruto ordered.

"Hai Naruto-kun!" they simultaneously chimed, snatching an arm each.

"Let's roll ero-sennin." He said to the older male.

"Let's gaki." replied Jiraiya with pride. He would get so much research done in this "trailing trip". He pumped his fist in the air.

'Alright!' he thought with glee.

They left, longer than they took to come back. The adventure's that they will go on will be epic and perverse in nature. Mind boggling feats will be achieved, for the "Icha Icha: Naruto the pimp chronicles: crack style" is just beginning.


End file.
